Im not sure where this is headed, it may be long, and it may not be long. My head is full at the point.

Bear with me.

I guess what got the cerebral region in motion was a question by a good friend of mine.

“How come you’re still single?”

Well, the long and the short of it is that, I am picky. What I would like is a woman that skis or ride’s a bike. But she must do one or both, some what confidently. It’s not that I won’t teach them, because I will. I have. But each time I have, I’ve gotten burned out in the long run. It puts to much stress on trouble-free outings.

History. A little History.

In mid 2005 I started hanging out with a wonderful girl, she rode, and she rode a lot. After a few months of riding together and teaching her the finer points of railing a turn on a bike, line selection and a bike mechanics 101, she let me use her couch after I was kicked out of my new digs after just 4 days. Shortly there after we started dating, but is was nothing official. It was a big step and it wasn’t at the same time, for both of us.

Fast forward to Jan 14^th 2006:
I had a seizure, while we were at the movies. This was earth shattering for me, I guess in a way it still is, I lost my driving privileges for 6 months. I’ve changed and people have taking notice. But I will get back to that later.

She with out me even asking took care of me for the next 6 months. I would crash at her place a few days a week and she would take me to work and pick me to go ride, drop me off at the ski hill so I could ski. You name it; she most likely did it for me. I was grateful for her and thankful that she was there. Things moved along nicely for the 6months, I guess as smooth as things can go for a after a seizure.

Fast forward June 2006:

Then one day out of the blue, she said we can’t do this anymore. This being the nothing official 8 month relationship. She had met someone else and would like to see where things went.

Fine.

We talked about our feelings, the feelings we had for one and other, our feelings about the past 8 months. Nothing negative was said, she just wanted something new. To be honest I was crushed. You start to get some pretty deep feelings for someone after they take care of you for 6 months both mentally and physically. Well, I did at least.

Well at least I can drive now.

We made a deal that we would still try to remain friends, ride, and go out to dinner on occasion, just in general hang out. This didn’t last more than a month , maybe two. I would call she would not call back for a few days. I would send her an email. I would get nothing in return. After two months I gave up, I was having trouble with post-seizure life as it was, and I didn’t need the added stress. At this point, as most people that know me in the bike world would say, I vanished form the face of the earth.

As the months went by, I got back on my bike at started to ride a little. But the stress of every thing had already taken its toll on my body and mind. I couldn’t ride with the speed and grace that I once had. I lost my edge.

Over the coming months I would see her at a few cross race, I always made it a point to say Hi and ask how she was doing. She would answer then just sort of drift away, not asking how I was doing, nothing. I was done.

The seizure beta:

After 40 hours of testing, full nights rest, sleep deprived 8 hours, 6 hours, and 4hours. Stress testing, EEG, MRI, Cat Scans the whole gamete. Around $90,000 dollars in testing. So after all of that, they can tell me nothing. They “think” that the nerve ending in my heart misfired and caused me to black out and have seizure. If that’s not reassuring I don’t know what is.

Post-seizure:

Life for me post seizure for me is hard. I really don’t like to be alone, on my bike, in the kitchen, skiing… basically I don’t like to be alone if I am doing something that I can do bodily damage to my self or others if something happens. But shit happens; I have to drive to work every day. I need to cook food. I need to ride my bike. I need to ski. I need to live my life.

So in an effort to keep this from happing again I sold my Downhill rig. The sport loved and competed in for 5 years, is now out of reach for me. For bikes, I now race endurance stuff on a SS and CX in the fall. My skiing hasn’t changed much; I still jump off things and ski fast.

Every day life has changed too; my memory has gone to hell, I’m always freezing, no matter how hot it is out side. I have trouble staying focused on even the most simple of tasks, even the smallest daily tasks are a huge chore now.

It’s funny how you block things out of your thoughts only to have them coming flooding back to in to your cerebral some time down the road.

I guess that’s it for now.

That's right I got a double flat. I drifted wide in a corner, hit a rock which unseated my front tire and torched my tube. Then my rear tire slammed in the very next rock, pssssst, pssssst , pssssst..... Cussing, flapping tire nosies, unclipping.... and walking and walking and walking and walking. 5 miles or so worth of walking.

This goes out to all of the assholes that passed me walking my bike out of the Pontiac Lake Rec Area on Sunday afternoon. One of you fuckers, could have offered me a muth-fucking tube and some air. Dicks, all of you. Dicks.

I think I have a problem.

I went to call my mom's house, and instead I dialed the number for the local bike shop.

Cross Racing, talk about a yo-yo season for me as far as results go. I am either on the podium or fighting to stay in the top 10. But some how, I stand on the top when it comes to the overall points. With 2 races left I need to stay in the top five, I think. But they use the best 5 of 8 for the series.


Andy Brown 105
Jason Brake 98
Andy Klumb 87
Eric Muehl 82
Joel Budacki 73

Vet’s Park Cyclo-cross suffer fes…er Race.

Boy, what a turn around from the last race weekend. This day was different, the course was soggy, no pavement and a few dry fast areas, oh ya, and it was freaking windy, real freaking windy.

During the warm up, I rode alone. Just sort of seeing who was lurking on the course, and watching some different lines that the other guys were taking. Then Joel from the Wolverines roll past, shit, I say to my-self, I’m going to have my work cut out for me today. Well, I go thorough the rest of my pre-race ritual, squeeze in to my skin suit. Then head to the start line to poach my spot.

The starter calls us off and let us head to the line. Front and center is where I’m headed. I don’t want to be any-where near the mess of people that caused the pile up last weekend on the 1^st lap.

The whistle sounds, all you can hear is people clicking in and dropping gears. I shoot to the front, with Joel on my rear wheel, I mange to hold him off for most of the 1^st lap. He made his move and was off to the front; I latched on and stayed there until the lead group of 3 became a group of 6. Then I made it happened, I swung him around dragging Andy Klumb with me.

The two of us worked together for the rest of the race, fending off the attacks from the other racers. Until the bell lap, it was on. Andy hung with me attacking on the climbs, and making a pass on the final hill. He didn’t get far as I attacked him in on the next flat, and proceed to drop him. With a half a lap to go, I stood up and sprinted to my 1^st Cyclo-cross victory.

Iceman is next.

WTF?

Do people really care who the father of Anna Nicole Smith kid is?

Or what the weather will be in each fucking inning of the next world series game?

I'm serious, what the fuck does it matter? Will your life alter greatly if Basso is the father of her kid or that the temperature in the 5th inning of the 3rd game is going to be 75 degrees and sunny?

Some how I don't think it will change your life. But thats just me.

The flight.

The flight was 30 minutes late pushing back from the Gate last night, thus making an all ready long day that much longer. 21 hours on the clock, thank God I and paid hourly.

I love Hertz Rental Car. They lost my reservation, thus I got a killer up grade, only after I stood around for one and a half hours while they searched for my car. The up grade went as followed. I started with a Chevy Cobalt, It was MIA. Next up a Caddy STS, also, MIA. Then a Infinity G35 which was also lost. Finlay they have found me a car, a Brand Spanking NEW Jaguar XJ8R. I, giggled with joy. They gave me a $81,000 super charged rental car. Giddy-Up. Needless to say this puppy is going back with more miles and less rubber than it started with. So smooth and so fast.

Tomorrow is a travel day, so I don't think I'll be back till Monday, with my weekend report.

Today, is a travel day.

Good Times.

This is, the first time I have been on a plane, since the liquid bomb scare a few months back. Wonder what the TSA has in store for me this time.

My final destination, SFO.

Last night was strange. I’m not sure why, I know, she is not gone forever. I know I will see her again soon, as I will be out her way soon enough on business, and she has family back here in Michigan.

It’s hard not to get choked-up about it. Hell, it was hard not to get choked-up at her wedding. But I guess that’s what happens when a true friend is going on to the next chapter of her life.

Thank you for every thing.

Here is to the Good, Bad and Indifferent times we have shared.

I’ll miss you Allegra Burch.

Two races, first one I was pulled with Two laps to go, the other, I flatted with Two to go. That sums up my race weekend.

I pulled out of my house Saturday at 5:30am; I can not remember that last time I was on the road at this hour of the day. My first destination, Middletown, Ohio, some 250 miles away.

My plan for the day was just to hang out and watch the races, but that changed at around 8:30am. For some god-forsaken reason, I thought it would be fun to race with the big guns. I wanted to see just how fast some of the top pros in the country really are. They did not disappoint.

I rolled up to the starting line, well at least the 2nd row right behind Ryan Leech. They gave us the run down on the rules, then the 30 seconds warning. The gun goes of, and the pain started.

I managed to hang on to the lead group for ninety percent of the first lap. I got in to the mix a little in a few of the corners and in to the first set of barriers, after that I was just hanging on for dear life. As we hit the tarmac for the third time, some one up front poured it on, I got shelled off the back and in to no-man’s land for the next 45 minutes.

On the same tarmac section that I was shelled on, the leader blew by me, I knew, I was done. The next time through the finish, I was getting pulled from the course.

The pace these guys race at is unreal.

The second day, I was going to be racing with the rest of the mortals.

Sunday, it was cold, low thirties at best. By noon it was maybe forty-five, good cross weather.

At 11:55 I was sitting on the front row. Waiting for the starter to read us the riot act, and blow his whistle. I was a bit nervous, this being my first race out of state that was going to count for something.

The gun goes off; I surge off the line and lead the in to the first set of turns and up the road climb, but the pack had was smaller now, no less than one minute in to the race, just behind the leaders there was a huge pile up, bring 60% of the field to a dead stop. I remember hearing bodies hitting the ground and bikes breaking.

The next 30 minutes, it was a good race. The lead group of ten had splintered, and I was in a good spot, 7th. I was in the chase group, and we were moving, closing gaps, and closing on the leaders.

We get the Two to go sign, with the lead pack in sight, 3 riders all fighting for 1st place. We would have closed in on them with in the next lap, making for a good race to the finish. Then it happened, I flatted on the road section. With the pit over half mile away, I was done. I had gone from 4th to 30th by the time I got to the pit for a wheel change. I was crushed.

Two plus Two equals zero for the weekend.

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